Is it FINALLY time?

37 weeks

I woke up Sunday feeling run down.  Perhaps it's because Saturday was such an eventful day: my daughters' bible quiz tournament was here in town, so I was finally able to watch them compete.  They got 2nd place.

I started feeling nauseous, but not really getting sick.  I just wanted to sleep.

Monday I felt worse and was getting sick, so I worked from home.    No one needs to see a pregnant woman getting sick.  I wasn't contracting as much, which was a plus.

Tuesday, April 1, my husband decided to play a joke:

 

It made a few people mad, including me.

I decided some fresh air was in order, maybe that would help with the nausea.  So I went for a casual walk at my neighborhood park.  Went home, and then the "fun" started.

I'd never experienced my water breaking naturally; it was broken for me when I was induced with Samantha, and then it happened after epidural with Emmalee and Steven, so I didn't know what it would feel like.  I'd been told it would be a gush or a trickle, but I also know babies can put pressure on a bladder and cause the same trickle feeling.

I went about my day as usual, but after a few hours I called my doctor; I didn't want to have to go to the hospital for nothing.  Of course she wasn't there, and the other doctors in the office were too busy.  By this point its after 3pm, I have my three kids and husband is working… so I call and have him come home early.

He dropped me off, he figured it was another false alarm, and told me to call when I was released.

First thing we noticed was baby's heart rate was high.  I mean, really high.  The nurse, who was probably the best nurse we'd had, was very proactive.  After the initial test showed that my water did not break, and that I was still only at 3cm dilated, she suggested a few more to the young resident who was seeing me.  As they were prepping for these test, suddenly I felt a gush… but it wasn't my amniotic fluid, it was blood.  OK, now we're in critical mode.

The doctor on call was not available, so a senior resident was brought it.  Baby's heart rate was still high, but slowing down.  We did ultrasounds to check fluid levels and umbilical cord placement.  Everything was normal.  At this point, my husband is back and trying to calm me down. After being there for almost 3 hours, they check me again… 5cm!  Hallelujah it's time!  

When Nothing Helps

36 Weeks

Nothing has stopped the contractions.  Nothing has caused me to go into full labor.  Nothing is helping the Hyperemesis that has returned.

(Again, almost 4cm at my last appointment, 90%.)

I don't have much of an appetite now, and if I have to much to drink I feel all swishy.  I hadn't really gotten sick since my visit to the hospital 3 weeks ago, but now it's back.

The baby goes through times of a lot of sleep, no movement, which scared me.  Then she/he gets all frantic and every slight movement is painful.

It feels as though the baby is sitting sideways… at this point he/she should have their head down, and back to my front.  But it's back is to my right side, and it's feet kicking my left.  This kid has always favored my right side…

Perhaps if this kids were to get into the right position, everything would move along.  I sit up as straight as possible, I sit on the exercise ball, I lay on my left side, I lean up against walls.  This kid is being stubborn.

I've been taking the Evening Primerose Oil (Omega-6). I replaced my Omega-3 with it.  It sits better with me, doesn't cause the heartburn that the Omega-3 did.  And if it will help bring on labor, great!

Can I Really Handle This?

35 Weeks

I went to my doctor on Thursday las week, and was 3, "maybe 4" centimeters dilated.  She told me that she was on call Monday and the following Sunday, and if I went in, she'd probably be able to help move things along.

Well, she didn't.

I went through the weekend, expecting things to be progressing.  I walked as much as I could, drank my Raspberry Leaf tea as often as I could.  Got my maternity leave stuff done for work.

I wanted to go in on Sunday, but decided to wait.

Monday morning, I said goodbye to the kids as they got on the bus, they were excited to think that they'd be able to give me "proper hugs" soon.

Hubby and I went walking around the mall for a bit, just to really get things going.  Of course I was already contracting, but I wanted to be sure baby was really ready to come out.  I think we were annoying some of the regular walkers, because of the frequent stops I was making.  Sorry.

I was still at 3cm, but could be "stretched" to 4cm (sorry, TMI).  She let me walk around for an hour, hoping it would make a difference.  We walked around the first floor for I don't know how long, stopping every other minute.  Surprisingly, we were only asked one time if we were OK and if I needed a wheel chair.  We kindly told the doctor, no, I need to walk.  Did she not see my belly?

When we got back to my bed, the contractions were crazy.  I mean, crazy.  Resting point 0, maxing out at 127 (whatever that means) and lasting about 90 seconds, every 2 minutes.  According to the nurse, that's what she sees when a woman is ready to push.  And when my doctor checked me… no change.  I was crying in pain.  She could see on my face that sending me home like that was not going to happen.  So she admitted me.

I think she was really hoping that something was going to happen that afternoon.  I wonder if that's why she sent a resident to check me, because in the past they'd incorrectly stated that I was more dilated than I really was, so she could in fact move things along…

Thankfully the Nubain helped a bit, but boy these contractions hurt.  My back hurt, my front hurt, everything hurt.   After 3 doses, the contractions started to become irregular.  Didn't go away, didn't become less intense, but spacing out more.

When the doctor came in to check me in the morning, there had been no change, so I was discharged.  I started to bawl my eyes out.  How the heck am I suppose to go another month like this?  It's to a point where I can't concentrate on ANYTHING.  Watching TV, listening to music, helping my kids with homework, folding laundry… Nothing distracts me, and in everything I do I need a "break" every couple of minutes.  I mean, even writing this, I've been working on it for over an hour.

At this point, our biggest fear is when everything really starts, it will happen so fast that I can't get to the hospital in time.

Hospital Visit #3

33 Weeks

Still contracting: All. The. Time.

Today it really started to hurt again.  I did everything that I could, again.  Drink water, empty bladder, walk around, lay on my side.

They're coming every 3 minutes, and they hurt.

After a few hours, we go in to the hospital.  Again.

I've not had any repeat nurses yet, so there's that.  But it seems like my doctor is hardly there...  In fact, the doctor on call for my practice didn't even come in when I was there, leaving me with first year residents...

I get to a room, and woo hoo, I'm dilated!   The resident called it "almost 3," which was a bit of a surprise, but a pleasant one.   But they insisted that since I'm not "to term" they had to stop the labor.  Fine, whatever, good luck with that.  So they gave me the Tributaline shot, and it did NOTHING.  They gave me Procardia, and it did NOTHING.  Still contracting, still in pain.  But no changes, so I was declared to not be in active labor.

They needed the delivery room, so they moved me to special care (again).

Even though they declared me to not be in active labor, I was put on a clear liquid diet.  It's exactly how it sounds: clear liquids.  Water, Sprite, Apple Juice to drink, Jell-o, Broth and Popsicles to eat.   Now, for a woman who has hyperemesis, and couldn't keep down liquids for 6 months, they might as well have starved me.

They were insisting on the Procardia, and even though my doctor told me to not bother with it any more, I took it.  But I warned them, they'd need to let me eat something with it.  They told me no.

They should have listened to me.  I got sick 4 times in a 3 hour span, it was awful.  I actually called my doctor (who was off that day) and asked for help.  The nurse must have gotten a hold of her right away, because I was allowed to eat after that call.

They kept me 2 nights.  Morning #2 one of the doctors that I like (other than mine) was on call.  She checked me and told me that the residents incorrectly called me "3cm"  She said 1+, 60%.  Well that's a big difference...  So she sent me home...

The day I went home was 34 weeks exactly, my last progesterone shot, too.  I'll miss my nurse, but not the shots.

Baby Showers and Hyperemesis

32 Weeks

Woo Hoo!  I made it to 32 weeks!  Take THAT Dr. S!

I don't know why I'm even bothering with the Procardia at this point, it's not doing a darn thing!  I've found that the Braxton Hicks contractions are not as frequent, but the real ones (yes there is a difference in where the tightening is) are happening every 10 minutes or so.  I know most doctors would say "If you're having them more than 6 times an hour, go to the hospital."  But I know that unless my doctor is there, or maybe one other doctor from the practice, they'd all just send me home right away.  Unless of course my water broke.

So, I go on with my days, with moments of pain every 8-10 minutes.

At this week's check-up, things are progressing, or regressing depending on your point of view.  Thinning again, back to where everything was a month ago before my miraculous thickening.  At this rate, we estimate between 34-35 week delivery.  My son was a 35 week-er, and though I hated the 10 day NICU stay, we survived it just fine.

We had a small baby shower this week, I'm so thankful for my friends.  Anyone who knows me knows that I love to entertain... so this was the perfect excuse!  Especially since I really haven't seen many of my friends throughout the pregnancy, because of how sick I was.

As always, I prepared way to much food, but in my defense, I was expecting more people than were able to come.  I always prepare for the maybe's, just in case.

I loved having everyone over, and then crashed on the couch immediately after everyone left.  I was exhausted.  Then, I got sick.

Joy, hyperemesis is back...

I've not had much of an appetite this week, and too much to drink made me feel "swishy," but I hadn't gotten sick in weeks!  But now it's back.  Maybe it's the changing of hormones to prepare for the birth, but I just feel yucky and don't want to leave my bed, let alone my house.

Fears Setting In

29 Weeks....

Went to the doctor a few days ago.  We had to re-run a few tests from my hospital stay earlier in the month.  The results weren't what we'd hoped for.

When I was discharged from the hospital, cervical length was 2.2 cm.  This time it was 1.6 cm.  At this rate, they suspect I'll deliver by 34 weeks at the latest.  The fetal fibronectin, was positive again: 40% chance of delivering in 2 weeks.  Doctor doesn't believe I will, based on cervical length, and I trust her more than a test.

Baby is a good size, about 3 Lbs right now.  We couldn't get a good length on him/her, because of the breech positioning.  Poor kid's foot was above it's face!  :(

But she wants me resting as much as possible.  And I want to be resting.  It's hard to sit up in a chair at times; I kinda wish I had a couch or something at my office to lay down on and work.  On the days I work from home, I'm usually on the couch with my laptop.  It's easier to get work done with you're comfortable.  But I'm really not comfortable.  The baby is trying really hard to move, but doesn't seem to be able to.  It's so painful for me, I don't have any clue what he/she must be feeling in there.

I got another "fat"/"Are you sure there's just 1" comment this week... The kid is laying sideways right under my diaphragm... if baby was sitting normally I wouldn't look this big.

Goodness, I've only gained 12 lbs this entire pregnancy, and most of it in the last 2 weeks!  I think the steroid shot has really helped baby grow, and so my appetite is finally growing too.  Still have plenty of food aversions, though...

The kids have been getting a kick out of watching my belly move, and Steve seems to be enjoying talking to my belly, because every time he does, the baby gets excited and starts kicking/squirming.

I feel better knowing we're doing everything in our powers to keep baby healthy - lots of prayer, rest, even reaching out to others for help.  But I can't deny the fact that I'm so scared.  I know that sometimes even full term 40 week babies have health issues and end up in the NICU, but going into all this knowing I'll probably have a few weeks there... As amazing as my hospital is, the NICU is a sad place.

2 Weeks Later And...

No baby!

28 weeks now.

It's been 2 weeks since my hospital stay (Jan 10-13), where tests showed a 40% chance that I'd have the baby in 2 week.  Guess what, no baby!  Praise God!

Still having some mild contractions, the Procardia does seem to be working, but there have been days when I wish I could take it after 3 hours instead of 4.

I'm glad I was able to work from home a few days this week.  It feels so much better to be stretched out, not just sitting.

It feels like baby is trying to move positions, but can't.  Every night, usually around 3AM, I am woken up with crazy movements and hits, like she/he is trying to move head down, but then give us and stays laying across my belly.  And right under the diaphragm… I mean, really, his/her hiccups are not pleasant.  They contribute to my heartburn and nausea.  As much as I'd like baby to not be breach, it's somewhat relieving, because baby's not in the birthing position.

Speaking of birthing position… someone informed my 8 year old daughter the 2 ways babies come out of mommy's tummies: cut out in surgery or through "private parts."  My husband and I were in shock for a few minutes, then he whispered to me "yea, I might have told her that…"  So much for prolonged innocence…

Bed Rest and New Meds

27 weeks

I left the hospital with instructions to remain as sedentary as possible.  I wasn't given strict "bed rest," but it was strongly encouraged.  

Everyone at the hospital told me to rely on my family for help.  So my kids have had to work a bit harder around the house this week.  Yes, I could get myself a glass of water, but according to all the doctors and nurses, I need to let someone else do it for me.  

I'm not allowed to stay in a standing position, I must sit at all times.  Thankfully my couch is comfy… might have to start eating meals on the couch.  I slept on the couch the first couple of nights, I didn't have the energy to climb the stairs. 

But of course, with the "bed rest" I still need to keep moving.  With my Jawbone UP, I have it set to vibrated every 30 minutes, so I remind myself to get up and move around.  Drink some water if I hadn't in a while.  It's sad that I need to remind myself to do these things, but whatever.  I know I need my rest, but I also do try to avoid swelling and blood clots.  

After a couple days home I went to the doctor.  I usually get one of the first appointments available, 8:45 or 9, but even at my 9am appointment she was running 40 minutes late.  I was afraid that she'd rush the appointment.  But she didn't.  Baby's heartbeat was strong, as usual.  No weight gain from my last appointment, which she didn't like (then I reminded her about the hospital food, she laughed).  She put me on the Procardia for the next 6 weeks.  Which the Fetal Monitoring Specialist told me he didn't do to patients any more, but I trust my doctor more than him.  

Unfortunately, Procardia wasn't available at my regular pharmacy, so I had to call around to find one that did have some, even enough to get me through a few days until I could get the full prescription.  

I didn't notice the dizziness when I was in the hospital.  But oh my word, it was awful.  It seemed like minutes after I took the pill the room was spinning.  I took it with dinner, but it didn't seem to matter.

This first weekend on the meds, my husband had taken our girls to a Bible Quiz tournament (they rocked it!),  but I had our son with us.  He's such an easy going child, and so worried about me.  He was such a help to me, and didn't mind that I couldn't take him to go to McDonald's play land to play, like I had suggested earlier in the week.

How to Behave Around A Pregnant Woman Part 3

Sometimes people have a hard time reading others, so often times ask the wrong questions without knowing that it's inappropriate or an uncomfortable topic.  Others, just don't care...

Now again, this is just my opinion, with input from some friends, but I think most pregnant women would agree.  Here is part 3 of my list.



Don't Ask  "Are you going to quit your job?"  Wow, so just because I'm a mom I can't work?  I was a stay at home mom for a couple of years, and it was ok... I loved being home with my kids, but didn't have any other stay at home mom friends at the time, so I was lonely.   Stay at home moms need adult conversation, which they don't often get.  Since I wasn't outgoing, making new friends was hard.  When I went to work part time I was able to be a mom, but also help support my family and feel like a productive adult at the same time.

Don't Ask "Is this your last?"  Why is it any of your business?  I'm very proud of how my 3 children are maturing and developing, and I welcome the challenge of adding 1 more child to our family.

Don't judge a woman's birth plan.  If I could have all natural home births, I probably would try it.  But my pregnancies have each had their complications that I feel safest in a hospital.  What works for one mom doesn't not necessarily work for the next.  If she wants an epidural, she's getting an epidural.  If she doesn't, she doesn't.  If she's having a scheduled C-Section, or being induced, there are reasons for it.  If you can't say anything nice or encouraging, don't say anything at all.

Don't Ask "Are you going to breast feed?"  I cringe when I hear that question, especially around guys.   Can't you use the term "nurse the baby" instead?  But again, that's a women's choice.  And nursing a baby can be really difficult!  I wasn't able to nurse my daughters for more than a couple of months.  I was given extra resources when my son was in the NICU, which really helped me be able to nurse for 9 months.  But seriously, I'm the mother, the baby will be fed in a manner that works for me, and for him/her.

Check out Part 1 and Part 2 of my list

3 Day Hospital Stay

26 Weeks, still

During my hospital stay, they injected me with Terbutaline.  I'd had it before, but with my POTS, boy that sucked.  Dizziness, and a hyper baby, made for an interesting evening.  The nurses came in to my room every 20 minutes to adjust the monitors for baby's heart rate.  They told me to sleep, but how in the world is a person suppose to sleep if they're being disturbed every 20 minutes.  According to my Jawbone UP, I got 2 hours of sleep that night - 0 hours of deep sleep.

I was prescribed 3 days of Procardia, 4 times a day.  It was suppose to help relax everything.  I was also given 2 doses of a Steroid injection, to help baby's lungs develop.

Saturday I met with a Doctor from the NICU, to give us information about if I were to deliver in the next 2 weeks.  She arrive initially when I was alone, and the minute she walked in the room and introduced herself, I started to cry.  I couldn't handle this, not yet.  I asked if she could come back, when Steve arrived.  She agreed.  So when he did come visit me, I had the nurse call her back.  According to the hospital statistics, babes born at 25 weeks have an 89% survival rating, most of them going on to live normal healthy lives.  They stay until their due dates, sometimes longer.  But if I could make it to 26 weeks, the rate goes up to 93%, and higher each week after that, with less NICU time.  I know families with Micro-premies, I've seen the good and the bad.  I was scared.  She tried to reassure us, if we could get baby to at least 32 weeks, with 1 more dose of the steroid shot, we'd have a perfectly healthy baby boy or girl coming home with us, with no more than a 2 week NICU stay.  Of course, 34 weeks and on is better.

By Sunday morning, the contractions had almost dissipated, only a few here an there, mostly when baby was really active.  I met with the Fetal Monitoring Specialist.  He was a ton of fun (sarcasm).  Again, this was something I needed my husband there for.  Thankfully my nurse was in the room with me for support.  It's not his job to sugar coat anything, I need to know the risks.  But goodness, is it MY FAULT that I had hyperemesis from day 1?  Do you really think a woman choses to feel like crap, puking 15+ times a day, not being able to eat or drink anything for months, and have to walk around with 4L of IV fluids for weeks?  Oh, and the blot clot causing the PICC line to need to be removed was absolutely preventable…. Yeah, totally my fault.  Then he gave me a hard time about not getting genetic testing done.  We didn't get it with the other 3, so why would I do it this time?  Why add the stress of a possible positive test (which doesn't mean anything's wrong, just that they're a chance).  He actually tried to get me to do the test that day.  We said no.  (Side Note:  I'm sure he's a well respected doctor and know what he's doing, but his bedside manner was atrocious.)

They needed to keep me for 24 more hours, to complete my procardia doses, and to observe baby for 24 hours after my steroid injection.  I also had to wait for ultrasound.

I was looking forward to this ultrasound.  Hoping that we could get some proper measurements of the baby, since we really couldn't at my office visit a couple of months ago.  Baby was finally cooperating. He/she was about 10 inches long, 1Lb and14oz.  Strong heart beat, active, tons of hiccups (which everyone said is REALLY GOOD).  Baby's adjusted due date: April 15.  Got some great facial pictures: his/her hand by it's face, and a couple of 3D images of it's face.

Deep in Though

Frowny Face

I even found out what we were having.  Steve told me I could, but I have to keep it to myself.  I told him I needed to know who I was praying for, not just baby, but by it's name.  My secret, but I'm so glad to know.

I was discharged after I got back to my room.  I wasn't  put on strict bed rest, but told I needed to remain as sedentary as possible.  I needed to eliminate all stress (did I mention I already have 3 kids?) and rest as much as I can.  The Fetal Monitoring specialist came to see me again before I left (yay).  Both he (and the NICU doctor, and my nurses, and every OB I saw this weekend) told me to ask for as much help as possible.  Get someone to bring us food, run errands, watch the kids so I can nap.  I hate asking for help, because the last time we did, no one helped...

Dr. S. said he expects to see me again in 6 weeks.  Not for an appointment, but because he doesn't think I'll make it that far.  Pastor and his wife prayed over us, spoke the Word for an April baby.  I have faith in that, but as long as baby comes after March 4, I know he/she will be OK.  

It Happened Again

Week 26

Everything we've been trying so hard to avoid this pregnancy happened again.

At 25 wks, 4 days, I went in to Early Labor.

I'd been experiencing contractions the last few weeks, especially on my bad HG days.  They weren't painful, or frequent, just there.  It's common with dehydration.  But since I was still having trouble keeping in fluids, I did my best.

Then the Kidney infection just after Christmas threw a kink into things, causing more dehydration as I tried to, ahem, "flush" the infection out.  And then Snomageddon 2014 hit and I had a nasty cold, followed by a day of acting as though HG never left…

I had told my nurse about the contractions, and the doctor.  They both said that if they're consistent, 10 minutes or less apart, for 2 hours, to go to the hospital.  I was probably just overly dehydrated from being sick and a few IV bags would bring everything back to normal.

So on Friday, January 10 in the afternoon I started feeling them.  At first they were every 20 minutes, no big deal.  Then they got to be 15, then 12, then 10, then very quickly every 5 minutes.  I did everything you're suppose to do for 'Braxton Hicks'.  Drink more water, empty bladder, move around.  Nothing eased them up.  So at  6:30pm, I had my husband bring me to the hospital.  On my way we let a few people know, including our Pastor's wife.  We had to wait in a holding area until a bed was available.  I'd never seen this room before with my other 3, so it must have been new within the last 6 years.  But the second a bed was available, about 20 minutes later, I was pulled ahead of the other pregnant moms waiting (who didn't look like they were in labor or anything).

I'd been in these rooms before, 6 years earlier, when I was pregnant with Steven.  But that was at 30 weeks with him… barely 26 weeks made it all so much scarier.  But I'm just dehydrated, right?

It wasn't long after I got into the "Special Monitoring" section of Labor and Delivery when our Pastor and his wife showed up.  I didn't even think I'd told them what hospital we were at.  It made us feel so much better.  Even though we knew we were in good hands physically and spiritually, it was great to have people coming and praying with us for our baby.

After we got hooked up onto the monitors, and got me some IV fluids, the testing began.  There was a a lot of deliveries happening, a midwife, a resident, a student and finally a doctor from the practice I go to all came to see me, and they'd all been quickly dispatched for deliveries. They ran a fetal fibronectin, which can determine if a woman will go into labor in the next 14 days.  I'd had with Samantha and Steven.  Supposedly, negative tests are 99% accurate, and positive tests are 40% accurate.  About 90 minutes after the test was done, the nurse came to deliver the news… positive test.

Thank God my husband was with me.  I was in shock.  He seemed to be too.  "Wait, positive is good, right".  No, positive is bad.  According to one of the partners from my doctor's office, I wasn't in active labor, no dilating or effacing, but cervix was a bit soft.  She didn't think I was going to be in that 40%.  Praise God.

But I wasn't going ANYWHERE anytime soon.

And So It Begins… Again

Week 25

Braxton Hicks contractions are suppose to be painless.  They're suppose to be short and infrequent.  So then why am I having them every 5 minutes, for about a minute, and it's stopping me in my tracks.  I've been doing everything that a woman's suppose to do when dealing with these: walk around, empty bladder, drink some water (as much as I can handle), take a bath, try to relax.

After talking to my nurse, and following up with my doctor, I was instructed to go to the hospital after 2 straight hours of these contractions.  I was averaging 90 minutes of contractions, then a few hours off.  Every day.  For the last week.  Even through the night.  So thankfully the contractions stop on their own after a while, keeping me out of the hospital for the time being.

Baby's heartbeat was a bit lower this week during my visit with Nurse Kate, and was hiding from the doppler.   Again, baby had the hiccups.

Because I've not gained a lot of weight (compared to other moms at this stage), I've not given baby a lot of room to move around.  So anytime he/she moves, it hurts.  Baby stays in a lateral position most of the day; now that it's growing the movements are more painful, and occasionally I'll get foot or hand in my ribs.

The nausea is returning more fiercely.  I'd really thought I was done being sick.  Guess I was wrong.  I suppose it's a good thing we were hit with these snow storms, I was able to stay in and rest without needing to call off work, because the whole city was shut down.  Hubby and the kids were able to keep themselves entertained while I rested.

Found this by the couch after I got done getting sick… aren't my kids sweet? 

I've been having a hard time sleeping, too.  Can't seem to sleep through the night.  My husband and I bought ourselves Jawbone Up 24's for Christmas, best investment ever.  While I don't have the energy to walk the suggested 10,000 steps per day, it's nice to see my sleeping patterns.  Which are pretty awful.  I guess it's my body's way of preparing me for sleepless nights in a couple of months.

Does my baby make me look fat?

24 weeks pregnant

I'm a whopping 5 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight!  I'm so proud of myself.

Baby likes to sit high (a girl, perhaps?), right under my diaphragm, for most of the day.  Which makes baby's hiccups all the worse.

I'm not one for selfies, but I was feeling exceptionally good about myself one day.  My hair fell nicely, and hubby and I were finally getting a date night, so I tried looking extra cute.  And so I posted a picture of myself.

20 weeks, barely any bump

24 weeks, notice how high the bump is? 

I've been pretty open about the difficulties in my pregnancy since we went public, so at this point, it's known that I lost close to 10 pounds before I started gaining it back a few weeks ago.  All my weight is baby, and as a petite person I'm going to look a bit more pronounced around the middle.  In the month between the 2 pictures, I had finally regained the last of the weight lost, and had actually gained 5 pounds.

But as I started going out and about, I actually started getting a lot of comments like "are you sure you're just 24 weeks?" and "are you sure there's just one baby in there?"  (If you haven't taken time to ready my list of pregnant women do's and don'ts, check out part 1 and part 2 here.)

I'm not usually a person who wakes up and says "wow, that was a weird dream."  I leave that to my husband who has the strangest dreams.  But early in my pregnancy, I woke up from a nightmare, in which we went to our scheduled ultrasound and found that while we'd only heard one heartbeat, there had been two babies.  I couldn't shake that dream for WEEKS, still almost 2 months later when I think about it it makes me so sad.

I don't know… all women have issues with vanity.  When we're pregnant we're suppose to gain weight, and unfortunately need to prepare ourselves for these comments.  But why do other people, especially women, have to make such bold and tasteless comments - to our faces.

I want to believe that it's not intentional; that they're not trying to be hurtful.  But as a woman going through HG, I don't want to be told I look fat, I want to be told I look healthy.  I don't mind the comments of people saying, "you've finally got some color on your cheeks" or "you don't look all skin and bones."  I mean, find a different way to say it, you know?  Like "baby looks like it's growing," instead of "wow, got a watermelon under your shirt?"

Christmas and Kidney Infections

23 weeks

It's Christmas time… and I'm really not in the spirit of things.

I didn't want to bake cookies.  I didn't want to buy gifts.  I didn't want to cook.

My husband really took charge this year, and made it a Christmas to remember.

I'm not getting sick like I had been, just lots of heartburn and dry-heaving.  But I'm still not eating or drinking as much as I should be at this point.  To top it off, Braxton Hicks contractions are increasing, and I'm having awful back pain.

Nurse Kate came over to give my my weekly shot.  I mentioned to her all the hiccuping, and she got a bit concerned.  She wanted to listen to the heartbeat, make sure baby wasn't in distress (BP 160, very active, lots of hiccups).  Then she went through her list of possible symptoms, and when I mentioned the back pain, she nonchalantly asked where it hurt, and when I told her "middle of my back, right side only" she kinda went pale.  Kidney infection.  With Christmas the next day, calling the OB's office wasn't going to do much, and I wasn't going to spend my holiday in the ER, so she told me to drink as much cranberry juice and water as I could until I could be seen.

I'd only had one kidney infection in my life, I don't remember it being this painful.  When I finally got ahold of my doctor, she wasn't surprised and didn't even make me come in to the office.  She said with my dehydration and the baby growing right there, it's a wonder I didn't get one sooner.  So she called in  for some lab work and ordered me a high dose of antibiotics and told me to "take it easy."

Thankfully my kids were going to be going to my parents house for a few days while my husband and I work and they kids are off school.  I mentioned to my mom about the infection and she told me to make sure I ate greek yogurt while taking the antibiotics, it's suppose to prevent the 'good bacteria' from being killed off.  I can't handle yogurt right now, but I did pick up some acidophilus supplements, which should do the same thing.   My other big concern is the fact that antibiotics affect P.O.T.S, and not always right away.  I noticed my worst P.O.T.S. episode this pregnancy came a few weeks after my blog clot was treated with a few days of antibiotics…

So now my daily pill intake is:  3 Zophran, 4 Diclegis, 2 Phenergan, 8+ Tums, 3 mini prenatals, 1 B12, 1 Acidophilus and 2 Antibiotics…

Hiccups and Heartburn

22 Weeks

It seemed like the days would never come when I wouldn't get sick.  But here it is.  I've gone a few days without getting sick, and it feels great.  Now, the catch is, I'm taking 3 Zophran, 4 Diclegis, 2 Phenergans a day, and at least 8 Tums, but I'm not getting sick!  (Unless you found dry-heaving, 'cause I'm still dealing with that a dozen times a day!)

I'm only eating a small breakfast and a small dinner every day, maybe a snack or two during the day.  And only drinking about 30-40oz of juice/Gatorade.  But it's better than nothing.

Despite that, the baby is growing.  My belly is getting quite large, and it's all baby.  Depending on baby's position, I may look bigger or smaller.  Some days he/she is low, so I don't look like I'm showing.  Other days baby is high and I look like I have a basketball under my shirt.

The heartburn with this baby is worse than I'd experienced with the other 3.  Mostly, I'm assuming, because of 20 straight weeks of getting sick daily.  I'd read an article recently suggesting that prolonged use of antacids can cause a vitamin B12 deficiency, but I think that was just related to the zantac and prilosec… oh well, I'll add that to my list of pills to take, just in case.

Baby seems to have had hiccups non-stop the last couple of weeks.  I mean, I know babies sleep 20 out of 24 hours in utero; it feels like every waking moment baby has the hiccups.  It actually hurts!  Especially the days when it's sitting up high, under my diaphragm… ouch.

I suppose feeling the baby's hiccuping is a good thing, I know baby is there and growing.  Everyone says it's normal and a good thing… but really, 2 weeks straight?

Time to pump you up! (with meds)

21 weeks

It's December now, and very dry.  Something that many pregnant women experience is a runny nose throughout their pregnancy.  I do but I don't get it.  Apparently it's worse in women with Hyperemesis, because of the (ahem) excess fluids entering the nasal cavity.  Gross.

I've worked my way up to about 30-40 ounces of fluids per day, still no where near what I need to be drinking, but an improvement.  We keep a humidifier by me most of the time, but it stops working at random times, and it is new.  I've also caught a bit of a cold, and I'm still getting sick 3-5 times a day.  So dehydration is starting to set back in.

I called my doctor on a Wednesday morning, after I was woken up by a bloody nose.  I'd not had a bloody nose since I was a kid.  It wasn't awful, but I know it was the result of being dry and dehydrated.  So the doctor called in an order to get me started on IV Fluids.

However... because this new nurse staffing company is based out of the southwest, which just got hit with some nasty weather, orders did not reach my nurse quickly.  And then they had to ship my meds, which again took time.

So by Friday night I'd received my reglan pump (to help the nausea and keep fluids in) but my IV supplies did not arrive.  Fail.

The reglan pump... you've got to be kidding.  I have to stab my leg or belly every 3 days?  Really?  What sane person would willingly put a thumbtack in their leg?  Because that's what this thing looks like!

Reluctantly, I gave it a shot.  Now I'm not going to lie, I didn't feel very nauseous... at first.

The next morning, however, I got sick 3 times.  AND THEN I slept the entire day.  No matter how hard I tried to stay awake, I couldn't do it.  I fell asleep while helping my daughters with their Bible Quizzing.  Sitting up - not kidding.  So... I took it off.

Then the IV supplies arrived, and another nurse arrived to give me my IV fluids.  Well, she tried at least.  Three times in fact.  On attempt #3, she popped a vein.  It hurt, a lot, and bruised instantly.  Yuck.  No IV tonight, and the nursing company has a policy that they're only allowed to try 3 times.

So my regular nurse stopped by the next day, to also try.  Three times, ending with another popped vein.  Although, it didn't bruise or swell as badly as the other arm did... (Silver Lining!)

So, no IV's for me...

Don't Pray For Me...

...Pray for us.

There is nothing more discouraging than seeing the reaction on someone's face when they've asked "So you're all better now, right?" and I respond "Not really" or "everyday is different."

I mean, I know everyone wants me to be better. So do I.  Don't you think I pray for healing, too?  But I've come to accept this condition, and the plans that God may have for me and the baby.

I appreciate the prayers for healing, but what I really ask of my prayer warrior friends, is to pray for us.

Hyperemesis patients have a history of late term miscarriages and preterm delivery.  With all 3 of my kids being born 2, 3 and 5 weeks early, the chances of another pre-term delivery were pretty high.  But I'm doing everything medically possible to prevent this, and of course we are in constant prayer.

So while I welcome and encourage the prayers of others for my healing from HG, I really encourage and ask that you pray for us:

Pray that the baby gets the nutrients that he/she needs to grow, and that I get the nutrients and fluids to provide for the baby.  

Pray for the Grace and understanding, and especially patience for those around me; particularly my kids who aren't getting as much Mommy time as I know they'd like.

Pray for my husband, the provider and caregiver for our family, that he feels peace through this stressful time. 

Pray for my doctors and nurses, as they continue helping me through this pregnancy.

Pray for people who want to step up and help, to not be afraid to help.

Finally, Everyone Knows

20 weeks, and officially we've gone public.

Of course, we received dozens and dozens of well wishes.  There were a few people who seemed slightly hurt that we hadn't shared the news sooner, given my condition.  Many people questioned how they hadn't realized that I was with child... and all I could say was due to my condition I was in hiding.

It seems like most people are more excited than others.  Mainly, the people who don't know anything about my condition.  A few have even offered to prepare meals for us.

For Thanksgiving, my kids and I went to my parents house, 2 hours away.  Steve had to work, so I was on my own.  I was nervous to drive myself, and my dad refused it.  So my brother drove.  In the car he mentioned that he looked up my condition online, and proclaimed I'm the unluckiest mom in the world. I think it clicked with my family how serious my condition is.

While Steve was working on Black Friday, I slept.  I browsed for some Christmas gift ideas, but I'm really not feeling it.  I have no energy.  No desire to purchase and wrap gifts.  I don't want to decorate.  Is that bad?  Steve loves Christmas shopping, and usually goes overboard...

All I can think about is rest, staying healthy and getting ready for baby.

According to my What To Expect app, the baby is roughly the size of a banana.  And now, the baby will be starting to "taste" the food that I eat.  I'm not eating much, yet though.  Still having my shakes at breakfast, then a small dinner (my kids eat more that I do).  Still not drinking enough, maybe 20 - 30 ounces a day.  Doc may put me back on IV's by the end of the week.

 Frequent dizzy spells, lots of nausea, and frequent heartburn are my life right now.  I mean, I had heartburn with my other kids - and yes, they were born with full heads of hair.  Heartburn is awful.  I have Tums all over the place: my bedroom, my kitchen, my car, my purse, my office.

Add that to my long list of pills that I take daily...

And POTS Returns

19 weeks

Had a bit of energy this week... I decided to try to make dinner myself.

BIG MISTAKE!

While attempting to put a pot of taco meat on the table to make tacos for the kids, the room started spinning.  I had enough time to get the pot on the table and get into the living room before things went dark.  

I don't know how long I was out, only a few minutes I think.  But I stayed on the floor for a while, with my feet up.  Suddenly baby was moving frantically.  I was so scared.  Thankfully my nurse was on her way.  My blood pressure was 85/55, heartbeat slightly irregular.  Definitely a NCS/POTS episode.  I hadn't had one in months, and this was the worst.  I had to take antibiotics when I got the blood clot a few weeks ago, and from what friends and doctors told me, antibiotics can mess up the system, even weeks later… yay.  

Kate told me to take it easy for the next day or so, since I'd be seeing the doctor that week.  She gave me my 3rd shot - she was right, one hip hurts more than the other!

At my appointment, I was informed that I'd probably have to go back on the IV.  Probably not long term, not yet at least.  But enough to get me rehydrated.  

I'd gained 1 pound at my appointment, a good sign.  But liquids are still a big issue, and I'm still getting sick daily.  With Thanksgiving this week, I really just want to rest and enjoy time with my family... maybe some time at Mom & Dad's will get me back on my feet.  

First image

18 weeks, still getting sick.

I was scheduled for our mid-pregnancy ultrasound, but it had to be rescheduled due to illness.

My husband and I didn't want to wait.  We wanted to make our announcement, we wanted a picture to show everyone. But most of all, we wanted to make sure baby was ok.

We already knew a few people expecting and due around the same time as we are (April 2014) had made their announcements early on in their pregnancy.  We hadn't wanted to steal anyone's thunder, but we wanted our moment too.

So on November 22, we went and had 3D/4D ultrasounds done at My Little Me.  For $70, we were really hoping for some great pictures.  However, baby kinda had other plans.  We were able to get a few cute shots, but baby was breach.  Feet right by the face for most of the session, sitting at a weird angle.  We got one cute one, though.  Not sure which sibling the new baby looks like...

Samantha, 2005

Emmalee, 2006

Steven, 2008

Baby #4

It was an emotional moment, watching our son/daughter moving around, kicking it's feet, even waving at us.  It creeped the kids out a bit, they didn't quite understand how we could see inside mommy's tummy.  But there is the newest member of our family.  Even if I'm sick everyday until the day the baby is born, as long as he/she is ok, it will all be worth it.

At 19 weeks, my official ultrasound was rescheduled.  Baby still breach.  It was hard to get measurements, but we estimate around 8oz in weight.  Couldn't really get a length.  Again, baby was active, but this time it was harder to watch.  It was like there wasn't enough room for him/her.  More waving, lots of hiccups.  Even a yawn.  We aren't planning on finding out the gender.  Even if we wanted to, however, the baby didn't cooperate.  Oh well, Steve wins this time.

Thumbs Up

Big Yawn!