Sometimes people have a hard time reading others, so often times ask the wrong questions without knowing that it's inappropriate or an uncomfortable topic. Others, just don't care...
Now again, this is just my opinion, with input from some friends, but I think most pregnant women would agree. Here is part 3 of my list.
Don't Ask "Are you going to quit your job?" Wow, so just because I'm a mom I can't work? I was a stay at home mom for a couple of years, and it was ok... I loved being home with my kids, but didn't have any other stay at home mom friends at the time, so I was lonely. Stay at home moms need adult conversation, which they don't often get. Since I wasn't outgoing, making new friends was hard. When I went to work part time I was able to be a mom, but also help support my family and feel like a productive adult at the same time.
Don't Ask "Is this your last?" Why is it any of your business? I'm very proud of how my 3 children are maturing and developing, and I welcome the challenge of adding 1 more child to our family.
Don't judge a woman's birth plan. If I could have all natural home births, I probably would try it. But my pregnancies have each had their complications that I feel safest in a hospital. What works for one mom doesn't not necessarily work for the next. If she wants an epidural, she's getting an epidural. If she doesn't, she doesn't. If she's having a scheduled C-Section, or being induced, there are reasons for it. If you can't say anything nice or encouraging, don't say anything at all.
Don't Ask "Are you going to breast feed?" I cringe when I hear that question, especially around guys. Can't you use the term "nurse the baby" instead? But again, that's a women's choice. And nursing a baby can be really difficult! I wasn't able to nurse my daughters for more than a couple of months. I was given extra resources when my son was in the NICU, which really helped me be able to nurse for 9 months. But seriously, I'm the mother, the baby will be fed in a manner that works for me, and for him/her.
Check out Part 1 and Part 2 of my list
How are you doing? I hope well. BTW, I was working in the Library basement and came across a magazine from the 1930's - the Woman's Journal. It was a publication from the votes for women era. Anyway, the article that tickled me was about the above questions you have and how they were considered rude back then. Oh, yes, in 1930, women were working outside the home and having children.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself and my your delivery be uneventful - you've had enough events so far.
I've included this topic in my upcoming book; I might add, Please don't rub my belly every time you see me. Please don't insist you know the sex; maybe I don't want to tell anyone yet. And, Please don't put down my list of baby names. Great reminders!
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